"TAKE ME OUT TONIGHT"

Pilcrow Lit Fest is nearly upon us. I need a little help wrangling a few final things:

• I need more booze and wine for the NOLA party. Or, a place to buy a bulk of it inexpensively on Pilcrow's budget.

• I need smiling volunteers to greet authors and audience members at the panels on Saturday during the day.

• I need smiling volunteers to be in charge of various small tasks throughout the evening on Friday May 23rd, and especially on Saturday May 24th.

• I need to buy a bulk of pralines at a good price. Take a moment and look at our ChipIn donation tracker, then review your definition of good price.
  

• I need a place to buy a bulk of corn muffins. Same rules as above.

Granted, with your help, we did raise a nice chunk of change. My aim in asking, here, is for the purposes of stretching your generous donations as far as they can go. Thanks.

"SO YOU RUN DOWN TO THE SAFETY OF THE TOWN"

I ran the Y-Me 5k Race this morning with Dondi. We did it in a very respectable time, especially considering the wind was whipping around in every direction and the rain was cold and plentiful and, uh, felt like it was coming in horizontally. I got home and my running pants were soaked except for the fabric crease at the bottom fold of my buttcheeks, my socks were wring-out-able, my shoes squished, my hat dripped, my sports bra was soaked, my tank top was soaked, my t-shirt was soaked, my long-sleeve was soaked and my fleece hoodie was soaked. Gross. Really quite a glamorous sight, I'm sure. But it was worth every minute. Dondi's husband met us at the finish line with dry towels and a ride home. I left a butt print in my seat in their car-- we were that soaked!

Still, it was a good run and the sort that slow and steady counted for everything, I felt. And, there is a good feeling about getting up early, expending some real energy and being back home, warm and showered in time to eat a second breakfast. I think I'd like to resolve to get up earlier every morning. That'd be nice.

"ANYTHING IS HARD TO FIND"

Oh, this is fun-- I'm the author or the excerpt of the day on Six Sentences' Ning page. Scroll down.

Went to a networking breakfast this morning, that I rather enjoyed. So funny, that less than two years ago, I was blogging from a hotel room (ha, during a tornado, if memory serves) after clamming up at a book event cocktail party or something and saying "That's it! I'm fed up with being shy at cocktail parties and networking events!" Speaking in front of groups; never an issue. One on one convo; no problem. But, something about milling around and chatting with strangers was terrifying to me. I decided that night to get over it, and I sure did.

It's a work in progress, mind you-- it might always be. I still feel uncomfortable walking into a room full of people. But, what's fear but a big invisible bully, right? So, I decided to address bits at a time, try different approaches and such and it's time like this, when I've returned from an event and met nice people and chatter merrily with them and swapped business cards that I have to take a moment and realize I'm doing pretty okay on this resolution.

"FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE"

Bullet points tonight, kids.

• Oh man, I'm so excited about Pilcrow Lit Fest! It's just around the bend, too! Here at Pilcrow HQ, we're just dotting the i's and crossing the t's and getting ready to see all of your smiling literary faces in just a few short weeks.
  

• Don't forget, I'm running that Y-Me Breast Cancer 5K on Sunday morning. Support me with a buck or two here, and/or support my running partner, Dondi Walker, and she'll dye her hair pink

"A RUSH AND A PUSH AND THE LAND IS OURS"

Oh wasp-in-sombrero, holding court in the bar around the corner, as I walked by and you announced loudly to your co-celebrants, "Yeah, my fuckin' uncle thinks at at the conference in Wheaton or wherever. Whatever, I'm on the clock!" as you raised your shot of tequila and Dos Equis lager, then beckoned to me with your delicate words in celebration's spirit: "Hey, sweetheart. Smile it's fuckin' Cinco de Mayo!", it was that moment I knew you understood this holiday, a day commemorating initial victory over France in the Battle of Puebla, and I knew you were strengthened by the sheer might of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin who led Puebla in battle. And, as your ladyfriends lifted their Corona Light bottles and sang "woooo" and burst into an a capella version of Ricky Martin's Living La Vida Loca (Would they even know if told Ricky Martin is Puerto Rican and not Mexican and that there's a difference?) that they, too felt these things. But, it was as I waited to cross the street and overheard you, wasp-in-sombrero, say to your hard-working busyboy, "Hey man, it's your people's early fourth of july! We're celebrating for your freedom to come live here, bro! Tell your boss to go fuck himself so you can drink cervesas and shit with me and these girls." Right then, I knew that of course you knew the difference between, say, Cinco de Mayo and dieciséis de septiembre (the actual Mexican Independence Day occurring on, as the name might suggest, the sixteenth of September) but it was the next moment, when the hard-working busboy looked at you, wasp-in-sombrero, and said, wishing you'd just pass out already, "Man, my boss is a lady" that made me glad you, for only a moment, had my ear.

"ON HER MOTHER'S SIDE"

Hi gang.

I'm running the Y-Me Breast Cancer Organization's Mother's Day 5K. I have a fundraising page for it, too, if you want to give to the cause. But, this time, I'm not running solo. My running partner, Dondi Walker, has promised to dye her hair pink for the race and beyond when she meets her fundraising goal. So, absolutely give her a donation if you can.

Also, JWI is doing a cool event this Mother's Day, too:

Every spring, JWI's Mother's Day Flower Project sends beautiful bouquets of flowers to 150 battered women's shelters across the country in time for Mother's Day, while it raises funds for programs that help victims of domestic violence throughout the year. For each donation of $25 or more, we'll send a heartwarming Mother's Day card to an honoree-- a mother, daughter, sister or friend-- to let her know a donation was made in her name.

Also:

Liz Strauss added Bigmouth Indeed Strikes Again to her mighty list of SOB blogs. What does that mean, you ask? Successful and Outstanding Bloggers, is what. Or, here, she can explain it best. So, notice the wee badge on the sidebar, worn proudly. Thank you, Liz Strauss!

"CLUMSY AND SHY"

I had a very weird dream last night, as per my usual. It involved respected doctors giving me lousy and nonsensical advice, me telling them all "no, you're not listening to me" and leaving their offices, as they'd each given solutions as absurd as ordering a colonoscopy to diagnose why I sneezed more than three times in a row, insisting I had ovarian cancer by the way I blinked, calling me developmentally disabled because my fingers were too thin, and insisting I needed to be under sedation to control the "rage that is displayed in the red you wear". It was absurd. I wasn't being heard at as I insisted my health was great, and none of the doctors took into account that I had any sense of self-awareness at all.

So, I ran, and I ran into some freaky, scary woods only to wander and wander. The woods seemed scary at first, but I kind of liked them once I was there and used to them. Then, I came upon a clearing that was sunny and pretty and had this tiny old Middle Ages-looking cottage in the center. So, I went in and it was an old apothecary, but self serve. I looked through bottles and sachets and found things and put them into my apron (suddenly I wore an apron) pockets like ginger "because the smell makes me happy" and violets "because they remind me of violets that grew outside my window when I was a kid" and simple, easy reasons. And, I collected bits of things and felt so happy and felt like I was doing the best possible thing by trusting my instincts.

No interpretation need. I think it's pretty obvious what that dream was about. Thanks for the pat on the back, subconscious mind.

So, I woke up thinking about confidence and self-trust. I posted on Twitter this morning, "What rattles your confidence easily?" And, here's what I got back:

• One person said falling down in public.

• Several people said their confidence was shaken when they felt like they were about to be blind-sided.

• Several more said feeling scorned or unheard or ignored or having their enthusiasm dampened by being ignored or blown-off was a big confidence shaker.
  

• Three people said meeting someone intelligent and attractive for the first time make them feel less-than-confident.

• Several said drawing a blank or feeling unsure and on the spot when asked a question made them feel badly.

• One person said she felt badly when her parenting abilities were questioned, but admitted that her skin is thickening in that regard.

• Three people said getting feedback that contradicts their own thoughts, gut feeling or methods shook their footing.

• Four people said having too much to do in too little time was a hard for them to navigate.
  

Anyone?